Week Two Recap

EASTERN SEABOARD
1	Clean Shaven...	2-0	W2
2	Those Guys	2-0	W2
3	Token, Yes T...	1-1	W1
4	Ten Teams, O...	1-1	L1
5	Ferocious De...	0-2	L2
RUST BELT
1	Akron Areolas	2-0	W2
2	sunset park	1-1	W1
3	Team Legenda...	1-1	L1
4	Silent Slug...	0-2	L2
5	Bill's Bit...	0-2	L2

Some quick book keeping....
Team Rue is now the Akron Areolas. It's about time you have a real team name.

Kudos to Token, Yes This League Can, who, apparantly, can, as he puts down fellow new guy Ferocious Desrochers by a score of 403-313, behind the stellar pitching of my man crush Zack Greinke, who scored a team high 67 points. He had 3 days of scoring 70+, with a high of 77 on Thursday.

The rest of the winning teams this week include Akron Areolas (323 pt total, 100 pt big day, 42 pt [Javier Vazquez]), Sunset Park (278, 53, 39 [Carlos Quentin]), Those Guys (327, 70, 46 [Andre Ethier]), and Clean Shaven Cats (355, 145(!!!!), 56 [Chad Billingsly]).

The Dead Fish is proudly awarded to Silent Sluggers, who narrowly eeked it out and scored 2 fewer points (207) than Team Legendary Awesomeness. It has been suggested that they be renamed Team Legendary Dissappointment. I'll leave that up to Dennis.

The Cheap Floozie goes to Bill's Bitches. Spend a buck for a starter. Grabbed Anthony Reyes as a homer pick. Problem is, he doesn't qualify as a starter yet. So the Bitches decide to let Carlos Marmol ride the pine and use the RP spot for Reyes' start. Reyes shits the bed and scores 2 freaking points. Marmol, on the bench, scores 7. The Bitches lost by 5 points this week. FML.

2nd Annual LoD Final Scoreboard

2nd Annual League of Dorks ..Final Scoreboard

Publish at Scribd or explore others:

1st Annual LoD Final Scoreboard

1st Annual League of Dorks Final Scoreboard

Publish at Scribd or explore others: Magazines & Newspape 2007 world

Week One Recap

After one week, here are your standings:

EASTERN SEABOARD
1	Clean Shaven...	1-0	W1
2	Those Guys	1-0	W1
3	Ten Teams, O...	1-0	W1
4	Ferocious De...	0-1	L1
5	Token, Yes T...	0-1	L1
RUST BELT
1	Team rue	1-0	W1
2	Team Legenda...	1-0	W1
3	sunset park	0-1	L1
4	Silent Slug...	0-1	L1
5	Bill's Bit...	0-1	L1

Before I forget, here's a recap of our awards system:

I'm a Winner: Given to the high score for the week
The Dead Fish: The polar opposite of the I'm a Winner
The Cheap Floozie: Worst FA/Waiver pick up of the week.

Team Rue (name to be changed) grabbed the I'm a Winner trophy by posting the high score for the week (406) thanks to huge weeks from Josh Johnson (69 points, tehe) and Chris Young (55). He also posted a week high 108 points on Sunday.

Other winners this week include Team Legendary Awesomeness (Team Leader: Johan Santana [50 points], Big Day: Sunday [90 points]), Clean Shaven Cats (Erik Bedard [48], Wednesday [82]), Those Guys (Kyle Loshe [40], Sunday [90]), and Ten Teams One Cup (Aaron Harang [44], Sunday [95]).

The Big Loser (El Perdedor Grande) was Bill's Bitches, who posted a pathetic 189. That was crappy enough to win the Dead Fish. The Bitches managed to have 7 (seven!) players post negative points for the week. Yes, this is your defending champion.

The Cheap Floozie award has to go to Justin, manager of newly named Sunset Park, for picking up Carl Pavano, who went out and tossed 1 inning, giving up 9 earned (81.00 ERA). His dollar bought him -28 points. Thanks for taking one for the team, J.

I'm going to try to get some historical stats up here soon, but there's your recap for week one.

Manger Bio #5 - Ben

It's Ben's first year in the league. After witnessing first hand how fan-fucking-tastick the awards presentation was, he couldn't be kept away. But little is known about Ben. Few people know that, much like Michael J. Fox, Ben has the power to travel through time. He brought back this photo.


When asked about it, he replied "..........."

Manager #4 Bio/Video Resume/Personal Ad

Team: Double Wrappers

Manager: Dennis

2008 Record: 13-10 (3rd)

2007 Record: 10-13 (8th)

Assets: Has people skills. Is good at dealing with people. Punctual. Awesome.

Likes: Long walks on the beach; girls with low self-esteem; caysh

He’s a gentleman: he’ll pay his half of it. Just prove he should, ladies.

Employment history, self-described:
– Some assholes (2007-8)
– Who, those cocksuckers? (2006-7)
– Seriously, fuck those motherfuckers! (2005-6)

Accomplishments: has bet on the following "sure things": 2008 Memphis Tigers Men’s Basketball; 2007 Cleveland Indians in the ALCS; New Coke; The Hindenberg; The Chevy Chase Show; Argentina in the Falklands War; his own chances in fantasy, 2009.

Manager Bio #3

Manager: Dan Fonovic

Team: Those Guys

2008 Record: 15-8 (2nd Place)
2007 Record: 15-8 (2nd Place)

Favorite Immersive Role-Playing Game: Second Life

Parallels in Success: Robin; Garfunkel; Oates; Tennille; Herb; Hardy; Costello; Al Gore

Favorite Parliamentary Procedure: "I Second!"

Favorite Movies: Major League II; Hot Shots: Part Deux; Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo

If He Were In A Bluegrass Band, Instrument He’d Play: Second Fiddle

Fun Fact: Actually avoids winning on purpose to avoid added scrutiny; team is a front for a complex investment scam that will eventually decimate the pole industry.

And that’s when the whores come in.

2009 League Prospectus

www.geocities.com/dan_fonovic/prospectus09.pdf

Had to host on freaking geocities because google doesn't have any way of uploading/distributing pdfs. Enjoy.
(ed. note: figured out how to put .pdfs in...b)

Prospectus 09

Publish at Scribd or explore others:

Manager Bio #2

Manager: Linx
Team: Clean Shaven Cats (formerly Fuck You...and Your Cat)
2007 Record: 12-11 (6th place)
2008 Record: 11-12 (6th place)

Yep, that's 23 and 23.... .500... 50/50....

Moments before the Vernon Wells cavity search

The Trophy

Here it is.
This is what we play (well, manage....er, pretend manage) for.
Ain't she sexy? It's as if the Stanley Cup boned the Lombardi Trophy while the Heisman videoed it. And directed. If the Little Brown Jug, the Keg of Nails, and the Wagon Wheel all had their way with with the Illibuck in a dark Columbus alley. It's as if an Emmy and a Grammy fucked a goat. It's a very nice trophy.

manager bio #1

Brandon: Team Rue
Fast facts:
•hates cats
•alleged #8 pole engineer in the world

Retrospective:
Team Rue joined the league as a founding member in 2007. That was his greatest fantasy achievement. After taking A-Steroid with the 5th overall pick in the inaugural draft, he motivated his team to a dreadful 9-14 season, only escaping the cellar by beating out the Double Wrappers in the playoffs. All this while leading the league in runs scored. 2008 was just as kind to Team Rue (and his woeful management style). After posting a 12-11 season, Team Rue floundered in the playoffs and ended up dead last. After 2 seasons, Team Rue's average finishing position is 7.5. Out of 8.
[searches for a way to fit "rue this day!" into this post.....doesn't find it.]

This is a test post from my phone. (which was later edited on my computer)

League is Open

3rd annual league of dorks is open and ready for business (just like denny's sister.....HEEEYYYY-YOOOOOO).
jump on over to espn to start fiddling with your team.

Would you look at that?

we have an official home on the interwebs.
very nice.