Manger Bio #5 - Ben

It's Ben's first year in the league. After witnessing first hand how fan-fucking-tastick the awards presentation was, he couldn't be kept away. But little is known about Ben. Few people know that, much like Michael J. Fox, Ben has the power to travel through time. He brought back this photo.


When asked about it, he replied "..........."

Manager #4 Bio/Video Resume/Personal Ad

Team: Double Wrappers

Manager: Dennis

2008 Record: 13-10 (3rd)

2007 Record: 10-13 (8th)

Assets: Has people skills. Is good at dealing with people. Punctual. Awesome.

Likes: Long walks on the beach; girls with low self-esteem; caysh

He’s a gentleman: he’ll pay his half of it. Just prove he should, ladies.

Employment history, self-described:
– Some assholes (2007-8)
– Who, those cocksuckers? (2006-7)
– Seriously, fuck those motherfuckers! (2005-6)

Accomplishments: has bet on the following "sure things": 2008 Memphis Tigers Men’s Basketball; 2007 Cleveland Indians in the ALCS; New Coke; The Hindenberg; The Chevy Chase Show; Argentina in the Falklands War; his own chances in fantasy, 2009.

Manager Bio #3

Manager: Dan Fonovic

Team: Those Guys

2008 Record: 15-8 (2nd Place)
2007 Record: 15-8 (2nd Place)

Favorite Immersive Role-Playing Game: Second Life

Parallels in Success: Robin; Garfunkel; Oates; Tennille; Herb; Hardy; Costello; Al Gore

Favorite Parliamentary Procedure: "I Second!"

Favorite Movies: Major League II; Hot Shots: Part Deux; Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo

If He Were In A Bluegrass Band, Instrument He’d Play: Second Fiddle

Fun Fact: Actually avoids winning on purpose to avoid added scrutiny; team is a front for a complex investment scam that will eventually decimate the pole industry.

And that’s when the whores come in.

2009 League Prospectus

www.geocities.com/dan_fonovic/prospectus09.pdf

Had to host on freaking geocities because google doesn't have any way of uploading/distributing pdfs. Enjoy.
(ed. note: figured out how to put .pdfs in...b)

Prospectus 09

Publish at Scribd or explore others:

Manager Bio #2

Manager: Linx
Team: Clean Shaven Cats (formerly Fuck You...and Your Cat)
2007 Record: 12-11 (6th place)
2008 Record: 11-12 (6th place)

Yep, that's 23 and 23.... .500... 50/50....

Moments before the Vernon Wells cavity search

The Trophy

Here it is.
This is what we play (well, manage....er, pretend manage) for.
Ain't she sexy? It's as if the Stanley Cup boned the Lombardi Trophy while the Heisman videoed it. And directed. If the Little Brown Jug, the Keg of Nails, and the Wagon Wheel all had their way with with the Illibuck in a dark Columbus alley. It's as if an Emmy and a Grammy fucked a goat. It's a very nice trophy.

manager bio #1

Brandon: Team Rue
Fast facts:
•hates cats
•alleged #8 pole engineer in the world

Retrospective:
Team Rue joined the league as a founding member in 2007. That was his greatest fantasy achievement. After taking A-Steroid with the 5th overall pick in the inaugural draft, he motivated his team to a dreadful 9-14 season, only escaping the cellar by beating out the Double Wrappers in the playoffs. All this while leading the league in runs scored. 2008 was just as kind to Team Rue (and his woeful management style). After posting a 12-11 season, Team Rue floundered in the playoffs and ended up dead last. After 2 seasons, Team Rue's average finishing position is 7.5. Out of 8.
[searches for a way to fit "rue this day!" into this post.....doesn't find it.]

This is a test post from my phone. (which was later edited on my computer)